i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Its about making memories worth repressing
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
