I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
