He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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