They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
