and you said cock pushups were impossible
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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