Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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