Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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