Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize