I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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