i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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