Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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