yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
