my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
