What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Everclear isn't food dammit
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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