I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
