Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
