my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
