Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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