I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
