508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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