There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
