If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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