You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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