A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
