That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
