I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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