Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
