Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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