thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
