He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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