i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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