I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I looked at my own cervix.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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