Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
