you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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