I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
