i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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