So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
