your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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