I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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