Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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