you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
