I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
