I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize