when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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