He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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