New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
