Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
