don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
