Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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