woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
