If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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