sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
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Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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