His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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