When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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