Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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