Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
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i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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