It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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